File:1937 - Letter from Maria to Clara Hinderer about Klara Hinderer death.jpg

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Letter Text

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source:Clara Hinderer Baur collection

Jan 5, 1937

Dear Clara:

Everything is a mess around here, but I’m alone this P.M. so will try to write to you as much detail as possible. Kinda half sick myself today with a cold. Went over to Dad this morning and cooked breakfast for him and E.P.. Poor Dad was still in bed and answered my questions with little pep. He may leave soon too. He remarked to Elsa he wished he could go to heaven where his wife is.

Well to begin with, Dad started a fierce cold before xmas and was real sick. He spent most of his time in bed. He was just getting on his feet, when I put mother to bed on a Mon noon of the 28th. That morning I came over and she was sitting in the corner by the stove, socks off and feet in a puddle of urine, so I first prepared the bath water for feet. However, she was so restless she would put one foot in and out of the water, so I realized it was no good and I put a pair of cotton and a pair of wool stockings on her feet, because they were so cold. Then I fully changed her, which I just had to do for the past two weeks. Had her all cleaned up but she was still so nervous so I didn’t want her to walk around while I was scrubbing so I put on her glasses and asked her to read in the prayer book you sent. This kept her quiet while I was mopping and between shots I cooked their noon meal and gave her the different medicines

I had just perked the coffee and glanced over to her when I noticed she was trembling, so I asked he if she felt well, she said yes, so I quickly gave her two cups of hot coffee and rubbed her limbs for her because she was so cold and almost looked like her circulation had stopped, so I put her to bed and wrapped a warm blanket around her legs. She soon went to sleep so when I finished work I left. Julia called soon after I came home. Told her I thought Ma was going to be sick and perhaps her last trip providing she took a cold.

That afternoon I cooked a kettle of soup for Ma and went back that evening to feed her. She was asleep, but we (Julia, Fred, and I) awakened her and fed her. She apparently seemed O.K. but her voice was low.

The next morning I was there she slept all the time. When I cleaned her up and different times I went to her bed she would always awaken and seemed fair, she never complained , regardless what I asked her.

Went back again that evening but Dad had all the doors locked with bolts etc. I couldn’t get in and couldn’t rouse either one. Could hear Ma cough occasionally, so Shirley and I left. Julia came home later in the evening and so did Fred.

Wed morning when I came over, Ma was very bright and I thought sure she was getting better. Took off her clothes as I fully dressed her each day (I feared to put just a nightie on her as I was afraid she would get out of bed when no one was around and take more cold). Rubbed her with alcohol and had all her clean clothes laid out, but somehow I just put on her wool shirt and nightie and she agreed with me it would be better. So I cautioned her not to get out of bed, to tell Dad if she needed bedpan etc.

Julia told me to feed her poached egg and toast that morning. She took two spoonfuls and said “Marie ich will nicht mehr essen” <ref>”Marie I do not want to eat anymore”</ref>, so I said well maybe after while you may want something else. She called me different times that morning for water or whatever she wanted.

While I was washing her face and working on her, three different times her arms went heavenward and she would say Marie and I believe she wanted to say more but her thoughts left her.

When I had everything done up I asked her if she would like a bowl of soup and she said yes so I fed her a good sized bowl of soup.

So then put bedpan under her and asked her to urinate and move her bowels if possible. She couldn’t do neither so took the pan out. Barely took pan out when she said she could urinate so put it under in a hurry. A little got on pad so I slipped a towel underneath her as I wanted her to be dry so went in other room. I went after something but when I came back, could smell she was moving her bowels, so I just told her to go ahead and finish. I would clean her up.

Said she couldn’t do anymore in bed, so told her it was alright to go ahead. I would take care of her. Luck happened it all landed on this towel so all I had to do was pull it out and burn it. So then I talked a little more with her, trying to assure myself she would be alright until I came back in the evening.

I noticed her face was getting flushed and I felt of her several times and each time her eyes would just pierce me. So then I told her I was going home to wash but I would be back in the evening. Said goodbye twice to her and so did she and that was the last.

Fred went home that afternoon sick with a bad cold and backache. Said she was asleep when he came home and around 5 o’clock Dad had her part way out of bed. Fred put her back to bed, but said she had no temperature. I didn’t go back that evening as Fred was there and Julia said she was going to be home early so I told her to feed Ma and also change her so she would be dry for the night.

At 9:30 that evening Fred got me and said Ma was in a coma and breathing peculiar. I had gone to bed because Hap wasn't home, so dressed hurriedly, but Mother was unconscious and just breathed like that the rest of night until 6:45 in the morning.

When the Dr. came that night, he said there just wasn’t any hope so wired to all the kids. He however, expected her to live until next afternoon. He advised me to go home and get rest as he said you’ll have a hard day tomorrow.

I should have stayed as I couldn’t sleep at home. Got up at six, but got over to the folks too late. Julia stayed with Mother all night. She gave her wonderful care. Mother just burnt up with fever. Julia swabbed her tongue with cotton and kept cold towels over her had all night. <ref>Note from Lyla Jaus - Julia was a nurse and in SEA for many years. Guess she was a caring nurse, even in the hosp. sitting on the bed pan to warm it.</ref>

Fred and Dad were in the room when Mother passed on. She had a beautiful death, very peaceful. Dad was very pathetic. Every bit he went to her bed and wiggled her chin or opened her eyes, or uncovered her feet and felt them or shake the bed and call Klarle Klarle <ref>In southern Germany an “le” was added as a term of endearment. (ex. Rosele, my friend Annele, etc. You added it to puppies " Hundle" cute things etc</ref>. He thought as long as she was warm she would still come back. Thru it all he never shed one tear but I know his heart aches.

He looks so lonely and yesterday he cooked his supper and he set the table for two and cooked an egg for Ma. He has his dinners here and just how we will arrange for him I don’t know. I wish he would want to stay here during the day, but he barely gets over here and he wants to go home, so I probably will have to go over there and cook a good noon meal for him everyday. There won’t be nearly so much to do now, unless Dad takes sick again and if he does, he is thru fighting.

Fred took Dad to the undertakers everyday. The first day he called her Oh mamie, mamie and bent down and kissed her.

Clara, mother was just beautiful. Dad said "Die ist wunderschön I möchte gern ein bild haben <ref>It is beautiful I would like to have a picture</ref>, so we all agreed on a picture, so will send one to you soon. I never wanted a picture like that, but she looked so pretty, so wonderful, in fact when mother told us of Bible stories and talked about angels, I always pictured an angel most beautiful. Well, she is the angel.

Wholesomeness was written all over her face. She wore the dress you made and the orchid flower was so pretty for her.<ref>Many references are made in other letters to the dress Clara made.</ref> I also sent one of the wool slips you sent to undertaker and wool shirt and socks. They put everything on her as I looked to see. Her hair was beautiful. They waved it a trifle. Of course, Mother’s hair always was wavy.

The flowers we kids had made was a big blanket of roses with fern leaves. It was just beautiful. Had a ribbon across and in gold letters said Mother. It cost us $10.00.<ref>$172 in 2017 dollars</ref> I put in for you and Eugene and the rest of us put in for Christie. Besides that Dr. From (Julia’s Dr.) sent flowers. There were two other bouquets.

Dad received your letter yesterday just before the funeral. It was a lovely letter to him and you said such nice things to him. He said he would have to answer it.

Mothers funeral was at 1 o’clock yesterday at Johnson and Sons Mortuary, Rev. Jansen officiating. He had very comforting words and related lots of little verses Mother has told us kids.

Rev. Jansen’s wife sang "Lead Kindly Light" and "Rock of Ages". Daryl and Shirley were the only grandchildren present. All the kids out here were present but Christie. We thought first if all the boys could be here but Gene, Hap could take his place and the boys be the pallbearers and carry their Mother to her last resting place. Young Eagen, Mr. Krippner, Mr. Puffert, Rev. Jansen, and I can’t recall the two other men who were pallbearers right now.

Mother was buried in Washelli Cemetery in the Pacific Lutheran Division<ref>[ http://www.washelli.com/about-us/history/]</ref>. I’m keeping all the cards and the Memorial record so I can show them to you or send them. We all have a rose of her casket and I picked one for you and Gene. I’ll send it right away.

Mother’s casket cost $165.00<ref>{http://www.saving.org/inflation/inflation.php?amount=1&year=1937]</ref>.<ref>$2,845 in 2017 dollars</ref> The two lot were $120.00 <ref>$2,069 in 2017 dollars</ref>and digging the grave plus tax were $32.38<ref>$558 in 2017 dollars</ref>. Fred will most likely tell you about this.

I suggested a conference while we were all together so we would know what's what. The decision is somewhat like this. Folks have $262.00 <ref>$4,518 in 2017 dollars</ref> in University Bank and Fred owes the folks money so it rest on his shoulders to straighten up everything. However, I’m doing a little checking up to see if things are taken care of.

Dr. Hartley was out twice and only charged $6.00 <ref>$103 in 2017 dollars</ref> that should be taken care of immediately as he certainly was a conscientious man and gave lots of his time. The flowers were paid for yesterday.

Paul, Ted, and Elsa left last night. It was beautiful in the afternoon of Mother’s burial. The sun was shining, but soon after it snowed and it is cold today. Elsa is staying at Waterville today and expects to leave for home tonight.

With all this I regret one thing terribly, Clara. If I could have grasped it was going to be Mother’s end and just prayed to her that last morning out of that book you sent and possibly arranged communion for her. She lead such a Christian life and to think she left this world like she did hurts me, but I was so blind and dumb and couldn’t see.

She really had no pain, as far as pain and suffering was concerned she lots more when she took sick after her birthday.

Well, I feel bluer and my cold is getting me. If you want to know any more write me lots of questions and I’ll answer them. I hope I wrote you some things you want to know.

Manuel plans on leaving tomorrow.

Oh, yes, Julia made a scene at Mother's funeral. I really expected it. In a way I wish she couldn’t have been present. Poor girl, the life she leads and change of life <ref>Julia was 47 years old</ref> is getting her. She will be the next great worry, but let Fred handle her for awhile. She has my sympathy, but you just can’t do a thing for her or with her when she snaps.

Clara, I want to thank-you for what you did for the folks last summer. Mother at least passed on in clean surroundings, and if you hadn’t stepped in it would have been terrible, and I want to thank-you for the many things you have done since then.

Love, Marie

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