File:1937 - 01 04 Clara Hinderer to Marie Hinderer.jpg

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source:Clara Hinderer collection.

Clara's, age 48, wrote her little sister Marie, age 36 after their mom died in 1936 at the age of 76 while living in Seattle, WA. Clara was living in New Ulm, MN and working for the New Ulm Public School at the time. She had not attended the funeral.

Clara offers a message of sin and grace and the comfort it gives. She makes reference to the grief she felt when her husband Alfred Baur passed away in 1927. This is the first time I have seen him referred to Al. It has always been Alf or Alfred.

This letter doesn't offer much historical information, but gives insight into Clara and by extension her parents who reared her.

Dear Marie!-

What a day this has been! Every minute I have been with you all in spite of the fact that I’ve had company all day. Received your and Elsa’s lovely note this morning.

Soon after reading it, Marie Baur, husband and child came, and a few minutes later Lydia Streich. Marie’s stayed for dinner and then left for their home in La Crosse. Lydia stayed until after supper. She wrote a letter yesterday. Didn’t finish it as her pastor came over. Then he brought her along to New Ulm today and she brought her letter. I was really happy that someone came as I couldn't console myself for having remained here, but from 3-5 (your time 1-3) I was at the funeral home with you.

At 4:30 a beautiful plant came from the Public School Faculty - a cyclamen with 10 open flowers and numerous buds and these words: “May these few words serve as an expression of the sympathy that goes from our hearts to you today.” New Ulm Public School Faculty.

A half dozen red roses and 4 large bunches of white chrysanthemums came from 4 teachers who frequently come down here for coffee cake. How I would like to lay them on Mother’s grave or share them with Gene if he wasn’t there; Every time I get another expression of sympathy my tears flow anew.

Everybody who comes says “how wise you were to stay here but I believe it would have been easier if I had gone. I told Lydia today “never stay away from a dear and near one’s funeral.” She said “You feel that way today, later on you may know why the Lord didn’t lead you that way. When your Dad passes away you can visit your mother’s grave at the same time.”

I am copying a hymn which brought me much comfort when Al passed. I’m sorry it is German. You’ll have to tell Hap what it means. (Theme: Death where is thy sting, Grave where is thy victory 1 Corinthians 15:55 )

Tod, wo ist dein Stachel? Hölle, wo dein sieg? Christus mein Leben Sterben, mein Genims Wir überwinden mirt in diesem Leben Durch Jesum Christum

Fruend uncers Hergens Ruke sanft im Frienden Uns bebt die seele Ueber deinem schirden Dock schaut der Glaube Durch dei Firmung schmerzen Zor Jesu Christo

Hebt num die Haeupter Hebet Um die Henzen Scht die Erlversung nakct allen Frommen Ertoemn nackt, Hallelujoh, Amen In Jusu Namen.

And in the old hymnal from Aunt Anna there is this

Du gabst mir Elern Lehrermir Iin treuer Unlerricht; Ihr lehrend Beispiel kommet von dir. Von dir, du hoechates Licht, Hat ich sie nicht gelicht, Wie mir deim Want gebert, Und sie aus Leichtaim oft bebrirebt, Vergieb’s es ist mir leid.

To picture mother in our heavenly home where there is not weeping or sorrow, where God wipes away all tears, that happiness after all her years of hardship, of deprivation, of sacrifice is something our tear dimmed eyes cannot see nor our sorrowing hearts can understand. She bore here cross bravely in the Lord and I’m sure that in the days when her mind was benighted he was still her stay and comfort, even as she walked through the valley of the shadow of death His holy angels took her safely across and for this we will be happy after the grief is over our many sins of omission and commission toward her subsides.

If we all resolve at her grave or death to grasp the hands of our Lord in faith, to hold them sight in the knowledge that Jesus sinners doth receive; that he did all that needs to be done. We need only follow, then surely we shall all be united with her in the heavenly mansions where sins can no longer mar the service we render to those whom the Lord has commanded us to love.

And Satan is so quick to make us uneasy over our sins of neglect or whatever they may be. How often have I said to myself today and the last few days, why didn’t you do this, or why didn’t you do that until I’m nearly distracted? He knows our weaknesses so well and when to play them up big against us so that we cannot see Christ who says “I’ve loved thee with an everlasting love therefore have I drawn thee to me.”

I know your heart will also be sadly afflicted, but lift your eyes to Him who says “Come unto me all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” or “Behold, for peace I had great bitterness, but thou has in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption. For thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.” Isaiah 38:17 KJV.

Of that verse I like the German version better. It goes “Siche, um froet war mir sehr lange; Da aber hast dich meiner herzlich angenommen, und wirft all meine sünden hinter Dich.” How often in the affliction that comes always after a dear one has departed did I have to say that to myself when Alfred departed! If mother’s departure will bring us all closer to the Mercy seat we shall yet thank God for the tears we are now shedding.

Lydia would like a snapshot of mother. The one you took of her alone. I wonder how that would be enlarged. I’m enclosing my check; the one dollar apply towards flowers and let me know how much more I owe.

I want to thank you too tonight for all that you did for mother in my place. Money can never repay you for the work you did the past few months. I know you are going to miss her dreadfully. And now how will the future be for Dad? I hope that now that we no longer have mother as the center of our letters, that we may still continue an intimate exchange of letters; that we may never again drift apart. You’ll have to take her place with me.

I’m so weary tonight. Mornings when I awake I still feel that awful sense of loss and I hate to open my eyes. You said you regret not having prayed with mother. Will it make you feel better when I tell you that that Wednesday evening before she passed out, I implored the Lord to give her a blessed end? I have often done this, but never as I did that night and I’m sure she is safe with the Lord. Only He knows why He permitted her mind to become hazy and that she could not tell you to pray with her.

Good night. I know I shall hear from you soon. Don’t know if I can work tomorrow.

Lots of love, Clara Jan 4, 1937.

From Aunt Anna’s song book: Vielleicht Kann ich kein wort mehr sagen Wars Auge, Mund und Ohr siche schleust, Drum bet ich bei gesunden Jagen, “Herr: dir befehl ich meinen Geist.” Verschleißen meine Lippen sich, So bitt Jesu Blut fuer mich! Kann ich die meinen nicht mehr segnen So segne du ice mehr als ich. Warm lauter Tränen um mich regene O Vater so erbarme dick Und lasse der Verlacinew Schiem Bei meinem Tod erhoerlichsein.

<ref> Maybe I can not say a word anymore Wars eye, mouth and ear flee, That's why I pray in healthy hunting, "Lord: I command my spirit." Wear out my lips, So Jesus' blood begged for me! Can I no longer bless mine? So you bless ice more than me. Warm, loud tears around me rain O father so have mercy And let the Verlacinew Schiem Available at my death. </ref> (I believe that is her prayer for us)

This covers mother’s case too. “When all my powers are breaking, My breath comes heavily, Nor word more I can utter, Lord, hear my sighs to Thee!

When reason, senses and thinking Fail like a flickering light, That to and fro doth waver, Ere’ tis extinguished quite.

Then let me softly, gently Lord, fall asleep in Thee, When by Thy will and counsel, My last hour comes to me.

And for us - Only A few more years shall roll, A few more seasons come, And we shall be with those that rest, Asleep within the tomb; Then, O my Lord, prepare. My soul for that great day; O wash me in Thy precious blood, And take my sins away. A few more struggles here, A few more parting o’er, A few more toils, a few more tears. And now shall weep not more; Then, O my Lord, prepare. My soul for that bright day; O wash me in Thy precious blood, And take my sins away.

P.S. We’ve had snowstorms every day since Dec 31. Wore my new black dress in mother’s honor today.

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